There are lot of things I keep quiet about, you are one of them. I don’t talk about you or share what we had gone through. No one would even know. I miss you, though.

I thought by now I’d be over it. After all, its been three years. But still, after all this time, the pain of missing you is still there.

I often wonder if I cross your mind and if you think of me. I wonder if you look back on the times we had and smile and laugh. I wonder where you are at these days and what you are up to; then again, that may just cause me more pain.

I wonder if one day we’ll run into each other at a store or a gas station. How will it be? Will I turn and walk away? Will you say hi and a start a conversation? I don’t know, and I am not sure if I want to.

I know you’ve moved on… I occasionally see photos of you and you seem so happy. I am happy for you. I would never want you sad or hurting.

You said you’d never leave. And now, I am in two.

I miss you. It’s as plain and simple as that. I miss you and I always will.

I am still here.

The way ice freezes is rugged, yet forms together. You see the cracks, but it is still solid. It reminds me of my broken pieces getting molded back together, one by one.

Breathe.

I guess a part of me is at the start of letting go. That means, I am recognizing what happened and allowing myself to ache and miss you.

I miss you, but I am letting go.

I am not leaving or giving up. We made a promise; but I am letting go. I will still be here when you are ready to come back, but for now, I am not going to keep hoping that you will. It is not healthy for me. 

You will always hold a special place in my heart, my dear friend, but I will do my best to continue on without you. So for now, I’ll leave you with this: 

Day 264: Grateful for you. I love you today and always.

 

All my love,

SydneyPaige