July 1, 2013 was the day we lost you here on Earth and you went to Heaven. It was the day two cars collided and your short 17 years of life ended. It was the day you went to be with Jesus. It was your homecoming. It was the day my whole world changed.
I texted you, you never responded. I waited for you, you never came. Then I heard the news. The heart wrenching news, I thought was not real. I know you didn’t mean to, but you left me.
How could this be? It is not true.
4 years later, here I am. I am choosing to let go of the accident that took you. To let go of the fact that I will never see your name pop up on my phone again. To let go of all the what ifs and questioning why. I may never know why, but all I know, is that Jesus needed you more.
Often times, people think letting go means you have to forget. I think that’s wrong. Truth is, I could never and will never forget you, K.V.M. I could never forget the moments we shared and the way you have impacted my life.
The accident took you away, but it does not define who you were. You were bright, beautiful, and so smart. Your heart was for Jesus and you used your light.
It’s okay to cry. I miss you and I always will. I don’t think I’ll never stop missing you or feel the ache when something reminds me of you. I don’t think I was ever meant to “get over it.” I will not pretend it didn’t happen, because it did. I will not pretend your life didn’t matter because it still does. You were here… but now you’re in Heaven. I see this time and time again, someone passes away and the way to deal with it, is to act like they never existed. I don’t think that is how K.V.M would want us to remember her.
I will always turn up the volume when a Maroon5 song comes on. I will always think of you when I pass a McDonald’s. I can’t eat a cupcake without wanting to smile and I won’t ever forget the way you lit up when I ran into the classroom yelling, “hey best friend!!” And we started laughing and talking about prom.
I will continue to talk with your family because they mean so much to me. Their trust and faithfulness in Christ is a beautiful testimony.
I promise when someone asks about you. I will tell them the person you were, rather than the accident.
A few weeks ago, you sent me a little sign… thank you. Thank you for filling my heart with peace, love, and calmness. You ARE one of a kind.
I’ll see you again in Heaven. I will never forget you.
I love you, always, K.V.M
Kaitlin Victoria Miller
(February 20th, 1996 – July 1, 2013)