There is something about gathering with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and worshiping an all mighty God. It is so rich and filled with Jesus’ presence. Worship is my favorite part of church. I am able to freely sing, lift these hands of mine, and pray.
Lately, I have noticed the only thing I don’t overthink or care about what others think me is when I am worshiping. At church on Sunday, I sang like no one was watching me. I added in notes, lyrics, and just rolled with it. And oh my lanta, it felt SO amazing. To my knowledge, I didn’t think anyone was paying attention to me. Yeah, I was wrong.
After worship, a wonderful lady who had her hair pulled back in a pun and wearing a shirt with little elephants on it, turned around to me, grabbed my hand and said, “your singing blesses me.”
Like many things, I am not sure why the comment has stuck with me so strongly. It has been on my heart since the moment it heard it. I guess, well, now that I think about it, it’s because I thought I had lost my voice. You see, for a long while I gave up everything that made me happy. I stopped writing, I stopped singing, I stopped playing my guitar. I stopped performing. I stopped everything. I felt like I didn’t deserve something so beautiful, even though it brought me so much joy and happiness.
Music has always held a special place in my heart. When I have felt so alone, music was there. When I was on the operating table, I would sing my favorite songs to help keep me calm as I dozed off. When I left like nothing was going to change, music continued to give me hope.
Music was just my thing and everyone who truly knows me knows that. I do miss that part of me, but I guess it never really went away, because there I was, Sunday morning at church, singing my heart out. Oh the joy!
I love that every song tells a story; and every story has the opportunity to impact lives. I can’t say, since Sunday I have been playing my guitar and writing, but I do know, is that little spark I thought I had lost, is slowly glimmering through. I choose to sing because it makes me happy and fills my heart; and apparently it is doing the same for others.
To the lady at church, thank you. Thank you for reminding me of the gift God gave me and allowing me to bless you.